Who are we really?

Right now, I am merely a 9th grade student studying math and IT. I spend my humdrum days learning chemistry, biology, mathematic formulas, such as the Pythagorean Theorem, functions. I will not comprehend life in such a mundane context, math is dominated by fixed rules, one merely needs to memorize the equations correctly and one might solve virtually any exercise. For instance, it is common knowledge that the area of a square shape is one side squared. However, life is not based on such fixed axioms, there is no mathematical equation for any potential future situation. Now I know what I am, but not what I may be, and for such a complex issue, unfortunately, there is no existing formula.

One year prior to this, I arrived to a similar conclusion. What will become of me when I grow up? How may I choose a school and a profile if I am so dubious about what I am meant to be? I had thought that it would be a more adequate choice to attend art school before I elected to study math and IT. I intended to improve my level of creativity, but I didn’t mean to surrender my infatuation with science. Perhaps one day I might become a doctor and perform life changing surgeries on grateful patients. (ha-ha, that’s a sick joke, I’m horrified of blood) But I might seriously consider to be a creative animator who breathes life into different characters, or a fashion designer who magically whips up unique and glamorous designer clothes, I could find employment at Dior one day.

I have been thinking about a potential vocation for myself since my kindergarten teacher inquired about it. I adore children that say that they merely intend to be happy. I asserted time and again that I could truly imagine myself an archaeologist. Do you know why? When I was an infant, my parents built a garage in the yard and when they dug its foundation, I would play in the piles of dirt, and I was so cheerful when I unearthed a rusty spoon or a broken shard of a clay pot, as if it was untold treasure. When I was younger, life seemed so utterly free of complications, I did not know much, but I knew what I may be.

As one matures, one learns a wide range of subjects, one gets to experience more aspects of existence that interest a developing mind, and it is an extremely difficult task to choose just one with which to continue existence. It's like when there is a variety of ingredients in the kitchen, but you hesitate to decide upon a particular dish because you are loath to leave delicious raw materials untouched. And still, you comprehend that if you use everything, it won't make a good cake. Some aspects, potential possibilities need to be given up in order for the result to be optimum. I have already surrendered something for a while, it was the creation of art. But was the loss worth the gain?

Shakespeare once stated “We know what we are, but not what we may be.” The solution to this enigma might be that we should experience as many aspects of existence as possible, focus on what we have a true passion for and what holds our interests. There will be staggering difficulties, blind errors that need correction, but if we manage to overcome such challenges, then I consider that passion will turn into a marvelous hobby, and perhaps our future calling. It’s essential that once we have matured, we should employ our skill into driving our passion, on a path that brings continuous challenges, whose solution will provide us with the feeling of having fulfilled our life’s ambition.

Szakál Réka   IX. R